The Girlfriend Interview
This blog is something I wrote a while back, and I have done a little updating. If you want to know more about job seeking, please join me at my Job Seeker webinar on March 13th, at 11:30 PST. I’ll be posting some oldie-and-still-relevant information, some updated information, and the like as I prepare to help people navigate the upcoming changes in looking for work.
It started with an unusual question…
There’s a few different ways to approach this scenario.
Years ago, I went to a local event and met a woman who told me about a strange interview she had.
The person I’m speaking about interviewed at a family-owned company, a typical husband/wife team, which is common in many hometown businesses. But when they sat down to do the interview, the wife started with a big smile on her face and said something along the lines of, “We’re going to do something different; I just want you to talk to me like we’re girlfriends.”
A little digging, and I learned that the intent was to see if the candidate could relate and be personable with a senior population.
Okay…
The original blog was about what to do as an employer to stay professional and how to properly get to the heart of the matter.
But what if… you were asked this question? How do you respond?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t talk to my Great Aunt Edna like I am with my buddies on Girl’s Night Out… And I certainly wouldn’t talk to a random elder as if I were sitting around a pool in Vegas with my girlfriends, downing a mimosa. I know the conversations I have with my besties, and they would make the average person blush!
They want to know how you relate to people, so start by getting clear and taking control of the conversation.
“Can you tell me a little bit about this job, and what type of personal interaction your clients enjoy? It seems that is what you might be alluding to.”
-OR-
“I’d love to do that, can you first tell me, in your opinion, what is the most important thing I need to know about this job?”
This will do two things:
- It sets the stage that you communicate and need answers and clarity.
- It gets the interviewer to hear their own voice. The more they hear their own voice, the more they think you are brilliant. Strange but true. It’s one of the dirty secrets of third party recruiters coaching candidates. Shhhh… I didn’t tell you that.
The “Brilliant” Logic:
The speaker feels a “dopamine hit” while talking to you, they associate that pleasure with your presence. This leads to an “Attribution Error” where they assume you are a brilliant conversationalist, even if you barely spoke.
Most employers aren’t malicious; they are just trying to get to know you. They also know traditional interview models don’t always work well. Besides, how much STAR technique can we all take? I know I’m over it.
So this is pretty short and sweet.
Learn to steer the conversation into business territory, and that way you won’t make Great Aunt Edna spit out her dentures laughing at your foibles.
Relatability is the goal here. It’s also not having a random conversation and pretending it’s a girlfriend day out. It’s using a specific set of tools, some learned, some inherent, but they are tools nonetheless. It’s making sure you are both on the same page, and to help you expand your communication skill set.
Taking the lead this way is a learned behavior; you won’t get it right all the time, and with a little practice, you’ll be a curious natural.
Daava Mills (that’s me!) has been in the trenches of Recruiting and Retention for over 25 years. I love to help companies explore what works for them, not what other companies are doing.
If you are a company looking to connect with me, please do so at my Contact Page.
